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June 9th, 2002
 | 07:35 pm - Archives
Curious message, here. I've had enough banal entries for it be obvious: I'm bored and in denial about a great many things. Like, graduation. But more specifically,  ommkarja. After googling a couple of people from my frisbee team (fascinating jobs! CTO of ICC, IBM, Economic Development of Homestead, etc, RI faculty...) I naturally started to google other people. Mozilla's google stuff is great. I am completely obscured, as it should be, by an author on Mormon studies and a programmer for Epic. But ommkarja is straightforward.
Of course, ywong's news articles, when he was courting her, is fascinating. I thank my oblivious nature, and my only recent extroversion, that there are no similar records. I was a project of hers, so I didn't go through the same pain of doubt -- though I recognize her characteristic behaviors. And I am reminded not to put much here about how I feel about the present state. Sorry. I'm impressed by ywong... particularly keeping everything online. Yes, this post is still public.
So yeah. Threw a frisbee with bucy for a couple of hours in the sunlight. Was able to find a route to conquer the compiler issues for work, so I'll finally make forward progress. I don't know how it works. But it does, and so I'm willing to leave the mysteries of the inner workings of gcc alone. When people ask what my research is: compiler voodoo.
Current Music: Fatboy Slim - Kalifornia
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Courtship has been completely changed by the ability to search the web and find information on tumultuous affairs of the past. I am not sure if this is a good thing. But maybe it is just that I am a fool. I disagree (completely changed, fool). Uh, which person are you saying is completely changed here.
It could be you just don't find it as worrisome, being after the fact. Or maybe not. Courtship has been completely changed by the ability to search the web and find information on tumultuous affairs of the past I disagreed that Courtship has changed. Perhaps it has, but we've disagreed in the past over matters of previous relationships. I hold nothing against those who have had relationships with people I have or will have relationships with, nor will I likely have problems with those who come after. I'm fairly secure in this regard, I guess. But I think it is implicit within the context of Dating that one or both parties have histories. And if it is ever going to matter within the context of your own relationship, the relevant bits should be exorcised early. But I guess I lean towards rational honesty over sweet ignorance/innocence or the other pratfalls. I think the knowledge that one will only fail if they try and change the other is fairly widespread. And it applies. You can either get over it, or over them. At least, that's what I tell myself I tell myself I tell myself. I believe I knew about ywong, and I certainly knew about lange even when the window of "dmv as project" had begun. Certainly, I wasn't putting it as competition -- I didn't think, because I didn't think I had a chance. But I've met ommkarja's other SO, and there were no worries. I would disagree. Maybe for some people it doesn't change anything, but I am always seeing articles about how much Google has changed things.
I didn't say I that I hold anything against anyone. Some people might, which is again why I think it changes things. Mainly I am finding that too much fore-knowledge only serves to incite the demons that gnaw upon my soul. Though no matter what I do, I expect they will continue until this particular tale comes to a head.
We are indeed the voodoo people. I didn't start like this. I blame you. Yes, I have to wonder how much I am to blame for paths your and Bucy's lives have taken. I wonder the same of my inept influence myself, some times. Other times, it is another source of denial. I really need to finish that fusion device powered by denial... Imagine the potential. Or rather, imagine the abuses in a totalitarian system, and deny it is possible. Yes. Focus your denial towards that "telephone" device in your pocket.
I know I should have been a physics major, evil genius double major. Too bad I'm not so good at that whole "physics", "evil" (contest?), or "genius" bit. Though look at my silly sheet of paper. Bah. |
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